What We Can Learn About College Essays from "Never Have I Ever"
The fourth season of Netflix's heartwarming coming-of-age comedy "Never Have I Ever" focuses on the grueling gambit of applying to colleges as seniors. There’s a lot the show gets wrong—the idea that a college fair is a make-or-break interview; the feasibility of getting an admission representative’s personal cell number; and it was certainly implausible that Devi got detailed feedback on why a student was waitlisted at Princeton. That being said, we can forgive a little creative license, as they got one big idea right.
Devi Vishwakumar, our cringe-inducing but intrepid heroine, faces a pivotal moment when she manages to speak with Akshara, an admissions rep from Princeton University, (her dream school) which has waitlisted her. During this conversation, Akshara gives Devi feedback on her initial essay: "Your first essay was very well written. It was very academic. It had multiple uses of the word 'dichotomy,' but it didn’t really show me who you are. I want to know why you are who you are. Dig a little deeper."
Akshara’s advice—“I want to know why you are who you are”—hits the nail on the head and highlights a crucial aspect of college essay writing: self-awareness. Without this sense of self-awareness, all the accolades—grades, awards, and extracurricular activities—don't truly define the applicant. Self-awareness acts as the glue that ties everything together, magnifying the applicant's profile.
I’ve spent countless conversations with students convincing them that why they did something is more important than what they actually ended up doing. “Why” speaks to who you are at your core; “what” is simply an output. Along those lines, I’ve had students who on paper looked destined for an Ivy, but who—after a few conversations—were simply ordinary kids with overzealous helicopter parents.
Don’t worry, though. If you happen to be an ordinary kid with an overzealous helicopter parent (haha, only half joking), you can still train yourself to be more self-aware through regular reflection. Meditate on the connections between various aspects of your life and the qualities of things you enjoy. If you like structure, feel free to use or borrow from this Activity Reflection Worksheet that I have my students use.
Despite some dubious depictions of the college application process, "Never Have I Ever" hits the target when it underscores that the college application process isn't just about showcasing achievements—it's about presenting a narrative that reflects deep self-awareness and personal insight. By crafting essays that answer the question, "Why are you the way you are?" students can effectively convey their true selves, their journey, and their potential for future success.